Category Archives: funny news stories
Newhaven, Connecticut: Police were dispatched to the basement of a local home after a concerned citizen alerted police to disturbing noises including shouting, screaming and crying. Upon arrival police heard shouts from a self-proclaimed Warlock claiming that he would never be taken alive and that he had sufficient manna to last indefinitely. Later, when police were fielding inquiries from a neighboring resident (pictured below) the suspect made his escape by stealing his mother’s Astrovan.
Above is a recent photo of the suspect who appeared to be using the picture on line as evidence of his prowess as a dangerous criminal and master of darkness to be both feared and respected. Upon further investigation it has come to light that the domestic disturbance arose between the suspect and a friend over which one of them would date the hypothetical love-interest over which they both pine. The situation escalated after the suspect took a photo of the aforementioned hypothetical love-interest into the bathroom for some “me-time”. The suspect’s mother could only comment that she needed the van back so she could go to Walmart and stock up store-brand menthol cigarettes and boxed wine.
New York Zoo (Bronx, NY) has started a program where for 10 dollars you can have a cockroach named for that special someone. Comes with an E-Card greeting and optional cockroach shaped chocolate confections!!!!
Learn more —>
Bronx Zoo Valentine’s Day Cockroaches
Show that special snuggle-bear how much you care this Valentine’s Day <3 <3 <3
(admin buys one for Ex… J/K… no seriously)